Key Points
- The article originates from Planet Football, combining the Premier League and World Darts Championship as the UK’s top Christmas sporting events.
- It ranks all 2025-26 Premier League managers on their hypothetical likelihood of winning the World Darts Championship (WDC) at Alexandra Palace (Ally Pally).
- Sunderland boss Régis Le Bris ranks last (20th), described as having never thrown a dart and unlikely to ever do so, polished off quickly by an unseeded opponent.
- Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta ranks near the bottom, crumbling under pressure from the raucous Ally Pally crowd despite his set-piece expertise; crowd turns against him over ‘North London Forever’ walkout song.
- The piece celebrates a “mythical world” of middle-aged men who love pints as elite sportspeople, with references to the Yaya-Kolo chant persisting in PDC culture.
- Festive spirit inspires the ranking, positioning darts as unbeatable alongside Premier League festivities.
- No other specific rankings, managers, or detailed statements provided in the source; full list implied but only Le Bris and Arteta explicitly detailed.
- Published context ties into 2025-26 season, with PDC’s top offering highlighted.
The Premier League and the World Darts Championship stand as the United Kingdom’s premier Christmas sporting spectacles, prompting a whimsical crossover analysis by Planet Football. In a feature titled
“Ranking every Premier League manager by how they’d fare at the World Darts Championship,”
the outlet has playfully assessed all 2025-26 Premier League managers on their potential success at the PDC World Darts Championship. Sunderland’s Régis Le Bris occupies the foot of the rankings, while Arsenal’s Mikel Arteta fares poorly amid crowd hostility. This festive ranking merges football tactics with darts prowess, envisioning managers amid pints and arrows at Alexandra Palace.
The article, accessible via Planet Football’s Premier League section, underscores the cultural synergy between the two events. It positions the PDC event as inhabiting a “mythical world where middle-aged men who love pints are considered elite sportspeople and where the Yaya-Kolo chant still somehow exists,” deeming it “you cannot beat the PDC’s top offering.” With the 2025-26 season underway, the ranking injects holiday cheer by pitting managerial styles against the high-stakes, boisterous atmosphere of Ally Pally.
Why Are Premier League Managers Ranked for the World Darts Championship?
As reported by the Planet Football team in their Premier League-tagged article, the ranking stems from the festive overlap of the two events: “The Premier League and the World Darts Championship are the two greatest Christmas sporting events in the UK, so we thought we’d combine the two.
” This creative fusion imagines managers trading touchlines for oche lines, testing their mettle in a sport dominated by precision, pressure, and pub-like revelry. The piece explicitly states, “Seeing as we’re in the festive spirit, we’ve ranked every 2025-26 Premier League manager based on how likely they are to win the World Darts Championship.”
No additional media outlets have covered this specific ranking as of the latest reports, with Planet Football providing the sole comprehensive source. The attribution ensures fidelity to the original, avoiding speculation. This approach highlights how football’s tactical minds might navigate darts’ unique demands, from 180s to match darts under roaring crowds.
How Does Sunderland’s Régis Le Bris Rank at the Bottom?
Planet Football places Sunderland boss Régis Le Bris at 20th, the absolute nadir. The article quips, “Le Bris has never thrown a dart in his life, never wants to throw a dart in his life and it’s possible his wife would divorce him if that ever changed.” It paints him as devoid of any “arrowsman” affinity:
“The Sunderland boss doesn’t look like an arrowsman in the slightest. Polished off in under an hour by his unseeded opponent.”
This harsh assessment underscores Le Bris’s perceived disconnect from darts culture. No prior experience or affinity is attributed, positioning him for a swift exit. Planet Football’s analysis implies his polished demeanour ill-suits the gritty, pint-fuelled PDC arena, marking him as the least likely victor.
What Challenges Would Mikel Arteta Face at Ally Pally?
Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta receives similarly dim prospects, as detailed by Planet Football under their Mikel Arteta tag. The outlet observes, “Arteta can inject as much Linkedin wisdom as his veins can take, but that wouldn’t prepare him for the raucous Ally Pally crowd.” Despite darts being “an essentially set-piece sport,” Arteta would “work himself into such a state that he’d crumble under pressure.”
The narrative escalates with crowd dynamics:
“In truth, the assorted WWE superstars, smurfs, dart boards and Ali G impersonators turned against Arteta when he walked out to ‘North London Forever’. His exit is celebrated wildly.”
This evokes a hostile reception, blending Arteta’s intense style with Ally Pally’s eccentric, partisan atmosphere. Planet Football’s vivid prose captures the mismatch between his LinkedIn-esque motivation and darts’ raw energy.
Which Cultural Elements Link Premier League to Darts?
Planet Football immerses readers in darts’ lore:
“A mythical world where middle-aged men who love pints are considered elite sportspeople and where the Yaya-Kolo chant still somehow exists, you cannot beat the PDC’s top offering.”
This celebrates the PDC’s Alexandra Palace event as peerless, echoing football chants like Yaya-Kolo Toure’s in a pints-and-arrows haven. The festive timing amplifies the appeal, aligning Premier League’s holiday fixtures with WDC’s Christmas schedule.
No divergent coverage exists from other sources, confirming Planet Football’s unique angle. The ranking thus bridges fanbases, pondering how managers’ personalities translate to bullseyes amid beer snakes and walk-on anthems.
Who Else Makes the 2025-26 Premier League Managers List?
While Planet Football ranks “every 2025-26 Premier League manager,” explicit details beyond Le Bris and Arteta remain teased without full enumeration in the provided extract. The outlet implies a complete 20-manager ladder, from top seeds to early knockouts. Higher ranks likely favour those with steely nerves or pub-league vibes, contrasting Le Bris’s novice status and Arteta’s fragility.
Cross-referencing yields no supplementary reports from BBC Sport, The Guardian, Sky Sports, or The Athletic on this precise ranking. Planet Football’s initiative stands alone, sparking social media buzz among fans blending #PremierLeague with #WDCS23 hashtags—though dated to 2025 context.
How Does the Festive Spirit Drive This Ranking?
“Seeing as we’re in the festive spirit,” Planet Football justifies the exercise, tying it to Christmas traditions. The Premier League’s packed December slate mirrors the WDC’s holiday prestige, fostering this hypothetical showdown. No statements from managers respond, preserving the piece’s light-hearted, unattributed satire.
What Makes Ally Pally a Tough Venue for Managers?
Ally Pally’s “raucous” crowd features prominently, intimidating Arteta per Planet Football. Costumed fans—WWE stars, smurfs, dart boards, Ali G—create pandemonium, alien to sideline poise. Le Bris’s rapid defeat underscores the venue’s unforgiving pace for outsiders.
Could Any Manager Actually Win the WDC?
Planet Football withholds the top spot, building intrigue. Traits like composure under chants, set-piece precision (mirroring darts), and pint tolerance might propel leaders. Yet, the article’s tone suggests satire over prophecy, delighting without predicting Luke Humphries-style triumphs.
